July 31, 2015 Leave a comment
I’m kind of bitter sweet about going back to work.
Bitter because I am leaving my Baby B with a daycare facility for 40 hrs a week. Bitter because I don’t have the brain to allow me to stay home; over active ADHD brain needs problems to solve and information inflow. Bitter because more than once I’ve been looked at critically for my decision to go back as it is not a money motivated one. Bitter because I’m losing time with my Baby B that I can’t get back.
Sweet because its some semblance of back to normal for me; I knew going into delivery that I was going back to work 12 weeks later. Sweet because my income will pay for more fun more often for us. Sweet because it gives me more time to get where I want to go with my current company. Sweet because unlike my house, my office has AC and so does Baby B’s daycare. Sweet because Baby B will learn that 1) we parents will be back, 2) to trust others, 3) to play with other children, and 4) how to listen to other authority that isn’t mom and dad; all things that I can’t truly teach Baby B alone.
I know that my decision is a good one and the best decision for my family. No, it’s not money motivated. It is motived by the need to keep the good ship Family even and level and for that to happen my brain and I need information inflow. It’s motivated by my need for a career. I am a problem solver. I love and thrive on problems (I play sudoko more than angry birds) and solving them. I am a critical thinker, analyst, and caregiver personality all in one. Some of this can be met at home but not all of it. So, I go back to work.
My Baby B will be fine at her daycare. I will be fine at work. I left some fish frying so we will see where they are when I go back. More importantly my Family will do good with this arrangement.