Importance of Marriage

My friend recently asked this question on Facebook “Why is a wedding the most important day in a straight women’s life?” She goes on to say that things like having/adapting children, starting school, the death of close family and friends, drivers license, random life changing events, first jobs, moving in with a lover, and a few other things are a few examples of other important things that happen in life and that women are not innately dependent on men. She also says that “marriage means for women, and whether we like to admit it to or not the truth remains, that socially and culturally at large, marriage still has very clear gender role assignments.” She also says “I am questioning why we are motivated as a culture to continue to promote a concept that is untrue, creates gender stereotypes for both men and women, and a social power differential. We can change what a word means and the concept that word represents, but why don’t we in this case?” She does ask a very thought provoking question. Why is marriage (a wedding) the most important day (or thing) in a straight women’s life?

I’d like to start of by saying that I don’t agree with the straight women part. It’s not just straight people or just women in general that find this day very important. She does have a good point about changing stereotypes. But let us get back to the question at hand.

I would love to says because it is, but that isn’t an answer. Up to this very day my wedding day and marriage has been the most important day and thing in my life. It probable will always be the most important thing in my life, followed closely by children. Some people do well at school and continue on, we all have to get job eventually or marry people willing to support us, kids happen if you have sex (don’t want them then don’t have sex, it’s that easy), and losing family is the natural course of things. I am not saying that these things aren’t important, because they are. However, they are things that are going to happen with or without our consent 99% of the time. A wedding and a marriage aren’t.

A wedding and marriage is something you choose to do it and it carries a lot of ramifications with it. When you marry someone you are tying your star or wagon, or what every you choose, to theirs. You are saying that where they go you go. Your possessions, your money (typically), your families, everything now “belong” to you both. You are also saying that you trust them with your future.

On top of the vows you take when you get married you are also telling that person, your families, and you friends that this is the one person in the world that you ultimately trust. I honestly don’t know what could be more important. You are telling this other person that you trust them with your heart, your money, and your life.

Marriage also culturally and religiously based. I personally don’t find anything wrong with our cultures and religions wanting marriage and a wedding to be such an important event. Many people still take marriage as a serious matter. I don’t see grandparents and parents readily accepting and rejoicing over kids out of wedlock, graduating college, first jobs- as fervently as they do at weddings. As for the gender roles, you only become one if you want to. No one can make you who you are and how you feel, without your permission. Ignore gender roles and stereotypes and be who you are. Yes, stereotypes hold a kernel of truth to them, but they can also be changed if enough people strive to.

My biggest question in the end would be: what the ramifications are if we entirely change our outlook on marriage and its importance? I am not asking about gender roles or stereotypes. I am asking about the original concept of marriage. Committing oneself to another person for forever and in your entirety, and that being the most defining and important moment and decision in your life. I don’t know the answer. I do know that times are changing and the outlook probable will change, even if just slightly.

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About Tara B.
Hi, I am Tara B. and its great to meet you!! I am an outgoing person with introvert tendencies. I have two amazing dogs that I love and adore! You will hear about them and their adventures a lot :D I also have the most amazing husband! Together he and I have Miss Go Go (you'll also see her referred to as Baby B) that was born in the spring of 2015. She is smart, quick learner, and loves to mimic everything she sees. I love to cook, bake, try to stay healthy, and read. I love to explore my area (and the world when life allows), and seek out fun things to do. You want more information just ask! I am horrible at writing "About You" sections...:) If you have any questions, comments, ect I can be reached at CraftsByTaraB@gmail.com.

One Response to Importance of Marriage

  1. I couldn’t refrain from commenting. Well written!

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