2020 in the Review Mirror!

Oh 2020, what a year you have been! A lot of highs and lows. Laughter and tears. Discoveries and truths. I wouldn’t trade you though. When pushed to the brink of everything we ever though was dear to us, we find out who we really are.

Sadly there is this amazing 5 year old girl caught up in all the adult drama this year. She never asked for or deserved the broken home that her dad and I brought to her. Even though I moved out at the end of February 2020, it was the hardest choice to leave that I hope to ever have to make. My hang up wasn’t the man that I shared a last name with, but the small girl that would bear the hardest fallout to Mommy suddenly leaving. Even 10 months later, she asks why I don’t live with her and it an impossible question to answer. While I may have a roommate now, to make living expenses easier with, it doesn’t replace her. But how do you explain this to a small child? This is something Miss GoGo and I will have to work through, but it tugs painfully at my heart strings when she asks why I don’t live with her.

I’ve learned in 2020 that the pain in leaving, is worth the healing that can happen. I’ve learned that those that want to stand with you, are willing to have the hard discussions and share the tears. I’ve learned that the biggest mistakes ever made are centered around a thought and a behavior that exist, but aren’t honest to who you want to be. People come into our lives to teach us, for better or worse. Our mistake is holding on longer then we are supposed to.

I’ve learned that love is both hard and soft. It’s the softest landing, when it’s the correct person catching you, and the hardest to leave when it was all based on a lie. I’ve learned that the person that loves you, is willing to cry with you, because of you, and won’t let you just walk away; even if they say they are okay with it. I’ve learned that arguing with someone that wants to hear the tears and the words, will stay for them and work with you to move the relationship forward. I’ve learned that being let go without a fight hurts the most.

I’ve learned that being wanted in life, is the most beautiful thing ever. Many made need you, but few may want you and choose to be with you. If they are willing to stay simply because they want you in their life, and have nothing to gain from our presence but emotions, those are the most honest relationships!

I’ve learned that when a man can take the sarcasm, the humor, the laughter, the small child, and the pup all in stride… he’s worth investing in. Not because I need him, but because I want that give and take in my life. I want to stand in the kitchen and laugh every night because he thinks my snark that night is a B flat; if he were to hit me. I want to know that I can leave my small child with this man and know she is safe and well protected from the world while I momentarily unavailable; aka showers.

2020, thank you! While you may have tilted the world upside down with this pandemic and all, you also tilted my life like a snow globe. I’ve come out stronger, happier, and the most Me I’ve ever been! I’ve learned that only Me can make Me happy! That no one other person has the ability to make me happy. That my happiness is all based on Me. Even if it means a lot of tears in the process, I am happiest where I stand today at the start of 2021, then I ever could have been at the start of 2020! Thank you 2020 for the lessons taught.

2021, bring it on! I survived and thrived in 2020!

New Website!

I’ve launched a real website and it’s dedicated to 80% food.. lol..

While I have loved this one, life has changed and along with it comes more changes! To find new food recipes and some of your favorite recipes visit me at CookTheFridge.com

See you there!!

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