An unexpected Outlook

If you follow me you already know this but if you don’t back in October for 2013 I was involved in a horrible car insident. The insident totalled my Hubby’s car (1992 Ford Thundbird, steel bodied) and sent me to the hosipital for a week. In that week I spent time in the ICU unit and in and out of concisisnios. I had suffered from two sperate cereberal contusion; in non medical thats a bleeder in the brain. I also had pulled muscles throughout my body and had have help to due everything in while in the hospital. Due to the injury I have no memory of the accident and only a few fuzzy memories of the weeks after the accident but still somehow managed to impress all my doctors and get clearance to return to work 6 weeks later. That 6 weeks is the minimum amount of time required and I had to have 3+ doctors approvel to go back to work and had to do an occuptional therpy exam to get my car keys returned to me. It was a very longg 6 weeks and the only things that had any joy out of it were my Puppy’s who loved the mommy sofa time and having someone home with them all day. You can read about Shadow’s mothering instincts Here.

So what does this have to do with my Outlook on life? It’s changed. I knew before hand that life was momentary. Anything could happen in the blink of an eye that would change your life 100%. This insident has changed my life but not in the ways you would assume it to.

Hubby and Me-
Sure, he could have walked away from me when I was in the hospital. No one, not even the doctors, knew if I would recover to a state of functionality, what I would recover to, or how my personality would change. That is a lot of unknowns for anyone to take on and think about. Luckily for us both he stayed and I’ve managed to come back to functioning; yes, I’ve changed but exprience does that to everyone. In the end, this insident has only made Us stronger as a couple. We both value the other more, or at least better at showing it, than before and are starting to find smaller ways to show it. We’ve both realized on a deep emotional level that we don’t want to lose the other and have gotten better at showing it. Yes, we still have disagreements about house chores and what not but in total, we are a better Us.

Just Me-
Oh where do I start… what’s important and what’s not really important… I knew on some level that life was valueable. I knew that I had Pups that needed me, I have a Hubby that (at the very least) wanted me, and Family that loved me. I didn’t truly value these till they were almost taken away from me. I didn’t value my life as it was.  My history is a sad one that would have broken other people but I came out of it… a winner with battle scars. Because of these scars I didn’t value myself and was blind to others valuing me. This incident opened that blind spot and showed Me that I was valued for Me. Not for what I did for the house, Hubby, the dogs, or my family but for just being there and being Me. If you haven’t experienced that change in yourself (not sure I want anyone to say yes to that or not) I can’t describe it to you accurately. Maybe the best way to sum up the change is my outlook is a little more optimistic and positive.

It’s a little sad that it took a several injury and moment in life to make these changes. But, I’m better for them.